Ten alternative choices to be the new FBI Director

It seems that the new FBI director will probably be chosen from a list of the usual suspects, but it does not have to be that way, there is a whole host of alternative candidates that could do just as good a job, especially with the Trump/Russia investigation.

Below we have listed ten alternative candidates and their unique skills that they could bring to the job.

Clint Eastwood

“go ahead, make my day” would probably have any reluctant witnesses soiling their pants, though some on the Hill may become concerned if he starts doing his invisible friend routine.

Snoop Dogg

Snoop would know how to get witnesses cooperating, he would spliff up, relax them, bring them some bountiful food, have them giggling and just sit back while they revealed all the dirty secrets.

Donnie Wahlberg

Some simple law enforcement brutality serves Donnie well, always hard to keep one’s mouth shut when you are being hit across the head with a telephone book, or whatever other implements he has to hand.


The lady will sing, pout and shake her booty, who can resist all that, even the most obstinate witness will crumble and spill the beans in double quick fashion.

Bill Gates

Money works and he has a whole lot of it, he will find your weak point, $100k, $200k, $1 Million and on and on. He will find your breaking point.

Rosie O’Donnell

She would threaten to go topless, not many could stand that, OK, that is cruel, but bet it would bloody work.

Siegfried and Roy

Yes they are retired, but they have lions damn it, no criminal keeps their mouths shut when confronted with a lion.

George Clooney

The man is charm personified and at the very worst, he would make the FBI look cool once again.

Mark Zuckerberg

He will use your personal data against you and dismantle you piece by piece, what better asset for an FBI director to have.

Alec Baldwin

He could put on his Trump mask and scare the shit out of the agents at the FBI, he scares everybody else.

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